Maybe it started with them leaving a bit more on their plate.
They said they were unhappy with how they looked and wanted to lose a few pounds. At first, it didn’t seem especially unusual. You tried to be supportive without making a big thing of it.
But then they started leaving more and more on their plate. Barely eating anything at all.
What started as a couple of “healthier” choices became more and more foods being cut out. Then they had a meltdown because the salad had cheese in it.
Now you’ve noticed their clothes becoming looser, and realised this might not be a phase.
Or perhaps it has never been as obvious as that.
You just know that something isn’t quite right about their relationship with food. Thoughts about food and their body seem to be taking up more and more space in their life, and sucking more and more of the joy out of it.
Now the same questions are going round and round in your head.
Is this just a phase?
Am I overreacting?
Should I step in now?
What if I make things worse by making a big deal out of nothing?
I get that.
You don’t need a diagnosis, the right words or a perfectly clear explanation before asking for help. We can begin with what you are noticing now and work out what your child and your family might need next.
When should I be concerned about my teenager’s eating?
Eating disorders don’t always look the way people expect them to. Someone doesn’t need to look unwell, be underweight or have a formal diagnosis for their relationship with food to be causing significant distress.
Weight alone cannot tell you how unwell someone is.
You might have noticed:
- Eating less, skipping meals or avoiding foods they previously ate
- Increasingly rigid rules around food, calories or “healthy” eating
- Anxiety, anger or distress before, during or after meals
- Binge eating, eating in secret or feeling out of control around food
- Vomiting, using laxatives or trying to compensate for eating
- Exercising compulsively, secretly or when injured or exhausted
- Frequent checking, comparison or criticism of their body
- A strong fear of gaining weight or persistent distress about their shape
- A very limited range of foods because of sensory sensitivities, fear of choking or vomiting, or little interest in eating
- Withdrawing from friends, family meals or situations involving food
- Changes in mood, concentration, sleep, energy or school life
- Your family becoming organised around food, exercise or avoiding conflict
Sometimes these changes happen so gradually that you barely notice them creeping in. Then you suddenly realise that family life is being organised around food and anxiety.
You find yourself adapting bit by bit. Maybe you’ve been preparing different meals, negotiating every mouthful or find yourself feeling like you are holding your breath at every meal time. Then you realise just how much family life has changed.
If you are concerned, you do not need to wait for things to become more severe before seeking advice. Earlier support matters. But that isn’t a reason to blame yourself for anything you may have missed. It is simply a reason not to wait until you are completely certain.
Who I work with.
I offer eating disorder therapy to young people aged 11 to 18. This includes support for:
- Anorexia nervosa and atypical anorexia
- Bulimia nervosa
- Binge eating disorder
- Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID)
- Disordered eating without a formal diagnosis
However, please don’t feel you need to know which description fits before getting in touch.
For some young people, including those with ARFID, eating difficulties are not driven by worries about weight or shape. They may be connected to sensory sensitivities, a fear of choking or vomiting, or very little interest in food. We can begin with what you are noticing and think together about the support your child needs.
The eating disorder is the problem. Neither you nor your child is to blame.
When someone is frightened of food, weight gain or changes to their body, things that seem logical from the outside may feel impossible to them.
I know that no matter how desperately you try to reassure them, it always seems to turn into an argument. The nice family meals you used to have, now seem to feel like a battleground, and your child keeps insisting that nothing is wrong making you oscillate between being certain something is, and wondering if it’s all in your head.
I see how this leaves parents feeling frightened, frustrated and completely unsure what to do next.
I promise, my role is not to blame you or force your child into a conversation they are not ready to have. It is to help us understand what is happening, reduce the eating disorder’s grip and find a way forward together.
So, how can I help?
I’m Dr Chloe Bedford, an HCPC Registered Counselling Psychologist with 15 years’ post-qualification experience across NHS services and private practice, including specialist eating disorder services. I now offer private psychological therapy in London and online across the UK.
This is how I approach therapy for those struggling with an eating disorder:
My approach is integrative. I draw on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Family-Based Treatment (FBT/Maudsley), alongside other psychological approaches, depending on the young person and what is happening around them.
I do not try to squeeze every teenager or family into the same model. We will think about your child’s age, eating-disorder presentation, physical health, readiness for therapy and the support available around them. The work may involve individual therapy, parent-focused sessions, joint work or a combination of these.
Helping you understand what is happening and feel more confident about how to respond can be an important part of helping your child.
Depending on what your child and family need, our work may include:
- Helping your child make sense of the thoughts, emotions and experiences maintaining the eating difficulty
- Supporting them to respond differently to eating-disorder thoughts and urges
- Reducing anxiety, shame and rigid rules around food, weight or exercise
- Making space for difficulties that may sit alongside the eating disorder, such as anxiety, low mood, perfectionism or low self-esteem
- Helping parents understand what may be happening beneath the behaviour they can see
- Finding calmer, clearer ways to respond when meals or conversations become difficult
- Supporting the family to feel less controlled by the eating disorder
- Working alongside other professionals involved in your child’s care when appropriate
Teenagers arrive in therapy in very different places.
Some are desperate for help. Others would rather be anywhere else.
Some can explain exactly what is happening. Others answer almost every question with “I don’t know.”
That’s okay.
I don’t expect your child to arrive ready to talk, motivated to change or able to explain what they need. Building trust and making sense of what is happening is part of the work.
Support for parents matters too…
Supporting a child with an eating disorder can take over your life.
You may be monitoring meals, watching for signs of purging or over-exercise, managing distress and trying to keep the rest of family life going at the same time.
You might be told to remain calm while feeling anything but calm.
Parent sessions can take place alongside your child’s therapy. Sometimes working with parents is the most helpful place to begin, particularly if a young person is unsure about therapy or does not yet recognise that there is a problem.
We can think together about:
- What to say when your child is distressed about food or their body
- How to respond without becoming trapped in repeated reassurance or arguments
- How to set boundaries with warmth and confidence
- How to support eating while keeping your relationship with your child in view
- How to recognise the difference between your child and the eating disorder
- How to look after yourself while supporting them
Involving parents is not about making them responsible for the eating disorder. It is about recognising that you are an important part of your child’s support system, and that you deserve support too.
What happens when you get in touch?
I usually begin with a brief telephone call with a parent.
You can tell me what you have noticed, ask questions and get a sense of whether I might be the right psychologist for your child or family. You do not need to prepare for the call or organise everything into a coherent story. Just tell me what you can.
If we decide to go ahead, we will arrange an initial assessment. This gives me time to understand more about your child, their eating, their wider mental health and what life currently looks like for your family.
We will then think together about the most appropriate next steps. These might involve individual sessions with your child, parent sessions, joint work or a combination of these.
If I do not think private therapy with me is the right or safest option, I will be honest about that and help you think about where to seek support.
Psychological therapy and physical health support.
Eating disorders can affect physical health as well as emotional wellbeing. Psychological therapy is not a substitute for medical assessment or monitoring.
If you are concerned that your child may have an eating disorder, I will usually recommend involving their GP. Depending on their needs, care may also involve a specialist NHS eating disorder service, psychiatrist, paediatrician or dietitian. With your consent, I can work alongside the other professionals supporting your child.
If your child is rapidly deteriorating, physically unwell, unable to eat or drink, fainting, very drowsy or confused, at immediate risk of harming themselves, or you believe there is an emergency, seek urgent medical help through NHS 111, A&E or 999 as appropriate.
Appointments, location and fees
- Appointments: In person near Putney Bridge, London, or online across the UK
- Session fee: £140 for a 50-minute appointment
- Insurance: AXA, Vitality, Aviva, WPA and Cigna
- Availability: Currently accepting new clients
Frequently Asked Questions
Does my child need an eating-disorder diagnosis before we contact you?
No. Many families seek help because they have noticed changes in eating, exercise, mood or body image but do not yet know what those changes mean. We can begin with what is happening now.
Should we also make an appointment with our GP?
Yes, if you are concerned that your child may have an eating disorder. Eating disorders can affect physical health even when someone does not appear visibly unwell. A GP can assess their physical health and help determine whether specialist medical or NHS eating-disorder support is needed.
Will parents be involved in therapy?
Usually, yes, although the type and level of involvement will depend on your child’s age, needs and circumstances. I will discuss this with you and your child clearly, including how we handle privacy and information-sharing.
What if my teenager does not want therapy?
This is common and does not mean there is nothing you can do. We can begin with a parent telephone call, and parent sessions may be helpful even if your teenager is not ready to take part.
Do you offer online eating-disorder therapy?
Yes. I offer online appointments across the UK as well as in-person appointments near Putney Bridge in London. Whether online work is appropriate will depend on your child’s age, needs, medical risk and the other support around them.
How long will therapy take?
There is no single answer. It depends on what your child is experiencing, how long the difficulties have been present and the kind of support they need. We will review the work together rather than expecting you to commit to a fixed number of sessions at the outset.
You do not need to wait until you are certain
If food, exercise or body-image worries are beginning to take over your child’s life, or your family’s life, it is okay to ask for help now.
Complete the enquiry form with a brief description of what has been happening. I will respond within two working days and arrange a brief telephone call so we can think together about what your child and family might need.
